I remember giving a presentation at school when I was a teenager.

I did not feel like writing a report, so I decided to give a presentation about a book I was reading instead. While preparing it, I realised that this was much more work than I had expected. I lost interest and, to be honest, I did not put much effort into it.

During the presentation, I mispronounced a technical term.

At the end, my teacher said a few things about my presentation not being well structured and having gaps. But there is one sentence I still remember exactly:

If you are going to use foreign words, you should at least be able to pronounce them correctly.

I still remember his facial expression, his words and that particular, dismissive smile. I felt terribly embarrassed. I wanted to disappear. I looked around the classroom. The other students also seemed uncomfortable.

In that moment, I did not think only:

I mispronounced a word.

Something much bigger reached me:

I am not good at speaking in front of the class.
I cannot structure and work through a topic properly.
Perhaps I am not meant for this. I should leave speaking to other people.

And my body reacted too. I felt very hot and slightly sick.

What stayed with me was:

Speaking in front of other people feels terrible. You will be criticised and torn apart. You do not want that, so do not do it again.

After that, I wanted to avoid giving presentations whenever possible.

School ended. But later, in my professional life, there were still situations where I had to give a talk or present something. And again and again, the same physical reaction appeared: the tension, the uncomfortable feeling and the wish not to draw attention to myself.

What changed through tapping

Many years later, I worked with tapping on this experience.

At first, I focused on the shame, the teacher’s facial expression, his words and the looks of the other students. Gradually, I became aware of everything that had come together in that situation:

I was not really interested in the topic.
I had not prepared well enough.
The topic was too broad.
There was no one to help me.
And the teacher had embarrassed me in front of the class.

All of that was different from:

I cannot do this.

I was able to look at the situation from my adult perspective and understand it differently. If I were preparing a presentation today, I would know better what matters. I could narrow down the topic, prepare more deliberately and practise beforehand.

That does not mean I feel completely relaxed in every situation today. But the old belief no longer has the same power over me. The connection between speaking in front of other people and feeling that I was not good enough could begin to dissolve.

One experience does not define you

Perhaps you also remember a situation from which you drew a far-reaching conclusion about yourself.

Thinking about it is not enough. A belief is often connected to feelings and physical reactions that also need to be processed.

Then, gradually, a new sentence may become possible:

I had a difficult experience back then. But it does not determine what I can do today.

Or:

I can learn what I did not know how to do at the time.

I was able to loosen this old connection. You can do that too.

If an old experience is still affecting you or holding you back in certain situations, I would be happy to support you in processing it and developing new choices.