🌿 When Your Body Shows You How Much You're Carrying

Many of the women who come to work with me begin by telling me about their daily lives. They talk about work, their families, endless responsibilities, and the feeling that there's always something that needs their attention. They describe how they're constantly organising, caring for others, and holding everything together.

Then I ask a simple question:

"How are you?"

Most of them smile and say,

"I'm fine."

And in many ways, they genuinely believe that.

They're getting through their days. They're managing everything that needs to be done. They're functioning.

That's why it often takes a long time before they notice how much all of this is costing them.

The signs usually don't appear in the middle of a busy day. They show up in the quiet moments. In the evening, when everything finally slows down and they realise their neck feels tight, their shoulders ache, or their back has been hurting all day. Or perhaps in the morning, when getting out of bed feels far more difficult than it used to.

Perhaps you know that feeling yourself.

What I find fascinating is that many women believe this is simply part of getting older or living a busy life.

"My shoulders have always been tense."

"My neck has always been stiff."

"My back always hurts."

The tension didn't appear overnight. It arrived so gradually that it became part of everyday life. At first, it was barely noticeable. Easy to ignore. Easy to push through. Then, little by little, it became a constant companion.

The body grows so used to holding tension that it begins to feel normal.

As though this is simply who you are.

But it doesn't have to stay that way.

I believe our body is constantly communicating with us. Not to work against us, but to let us know when we've been carrying too much for too long.

That's why I believe it's worth pausing every now and then.

How does your neck feel right now?

What about your shoulders?

Can you take a deep, comfortable breath?

Or are you holding on to more than you realise?

I remember one woman in a group I was leading saying something that has stayed with me ever since. She told me, "I honestly thought I was doing quite well. It wasn't until I started paying attention that I realised how much tension I was carrying."

I hear versions of that sentence again and again.

We adapt remarkably well—even to constant tension, constant responsibility, and constant pressure. Over time, we stop noticing that our body has been trying to get our attention all along.

I know that experience myself.

Years ago, my neck, shoulders, and back were almost permanently tense. I knew exercise would probably help, so I tried doing stretching and strengthening exercises. But they hurt. Even the simplest movements felt painful because my body had become so tight that movement itself felt uncomfortable.

Eventually, I stopped trying.

The difficulty is that tension rarely disappears on its own.

If we continue adding more responsibilities, more stress, and more pressure without ever allowing our body to let go, the load simply becomes heavier. Looking back, I realise that I had started seeing my body as the problem—as though it was working against me.

Today, I see it very differently.

When my shoulders become tense or my neck begins to tighten, I no longer see those sensations as something to fight. Instead, I see them as a quiet message.

My body is gently telling me that I've been carrying too much for too long.

That I've been strong for longer than I needed to be.

That perhaps it's time to soften.

For me, that's where real change begins.

Not by trying harder.

Not by becoming more disciplined.

But by becoming willing to listen.

By slowing down long enough to notice what's happening inside me.

And by giving my body a little of the relief it has been asking for.

One of my favourite ways to do that is surprisingly simple.

If you've ever spent time around horses, you may have noticed how they release tension. They take a deep breath out and let their lips flutter. It looks almost funny, but it's one of the most natural ways they allow their body to let go.

We can do something very similar.

Take a slow, deep breath in.

Then breathe out with completely relaxed lips.

Or simply let out a long, audible sigh.

It doesn't have to sound elegant.

It doesn't have to be perfect.

Just let your body release.

Try it two or three times.

Then pause and notice.

Perhaps your shoulders soften a little.

Perhaps your jaw relaxes.

Perhaps your breathing feels easier.

Or perhaps nothing changes at all.

That's okay too.

This isn't about forcing your body to relax.

It's about reconnecting with yourself and becoming curious about what your body has been trying to tell you.

Sometimes that's where everything begins.

Not with a dramatic breakthrough.

Not with another plan.

But with one quiet moment.

One deep breath.

One small act of letting go.

When we begin listening to our body instead of ignoring it, more can change than we often imagine.

Not overnight.

But gently.

One step at a time.

And sometimes it all begins with the quiet realisation:

I don't want to keep living like this.

It can become lighter.

🌿 Behind this tension often lives a quiet belief: "I'm not good enough." If you'd like to explore that connection, I'd love to invite you to read the next article.